Six Questions For ... David Hauslaib

David Hauslaib knows what you're up to. (So knock it off.) Or if he doesn't know, then some anonymous tipster does and they're going to tell him all it about it.

Wait. No they won't, because you're a nobody. David, on the other hand, has not one, not two, but three blogs, making him a bona fide Internet mogul, with power and riches beyond that of mere mortals. Read along as he shamelessly plugs one of them in my latest WYSIWYG interview. David is not as verbose as Frank or Jon, but what he lacks in word count he more than makes up for in snark. (I don't know what that word means, but I like saying it. I think it's some kind of walking shark.)

Remember, if you want to see David, myself and some other stone cold bitches reading the fuck out of something, steal a car and get your ass to P.S. 122 on September 27. Tickets are now on sale, so get them before the scalpers snatch them up and you have to pay $1,000 for a seat behind Lindsay Robertson (who won't even be there, so you know you're getting ripped off.)

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1) First of all, you spelled "gossip" wrong. Or is it pronounced "yossip" with a soft J?

Oh shit, I did? Hmmm, that can't be good. It's been almost two years and you're the first to point that out. Good eye, mate!

Actually, some jerk (also known as the E! Network) had already registered gossip.com, so I had to go through the alphabet to find the next best thing. Plus, I'm a huge fan of J's, especially when they're written in such a bright pink that you have to avert your eyes.

Or we could go with the original concept of the site: merging "journalism" and "gossip," hence our media gossip focus ... which we sometimes forget about when Lindsay Lohan goes up or down a pound.

2) Where do you get all that gossip? Why do tipsters tell you these things? Why do I always say that I hate celebrity gossip, yet I am invariably drawn to it?

If I'm not "borrowing" gossip from the pros then I've got my stable of tipsters at my bidding. Once you find a source close to a celeb, socialite or media personality, there's really no difficulty in getting them to talk. Well, sometimes it takes a little Ketel One. And by little, I mean a case.

Like Tara Reid, all the tipsters want to be a part of the story. They get off on being the source of the dirt, and who am I not to hand them a condom?

As for your celebrity obsession denial, that probably has something to do with your relationship with your mother.

3) Connecticut: Boring or just understated?

Connecticut is like sweating: Sometimes it's sexy, while usually you just want to take a shower.

But to avoid any snide glances about my origins, I simply tell people I've always lived in Manhattan; I just got my mail in farm country.

4) In your opinion, who is America's Sweetheart?

It's either Reese Witherspoon or the girl who refills the Splenda container at Starbucks.

5) You're in the city. It's Sunday morning, 3:00 a.m. You're exhausted, but you're not about to go home and sleep. Where are you going at this ungodly hour?

To a park bench. To sleep. With a stranger. Preferably homeless. That may or may not be a true story.

6) I've just realized that of the four men who will be reading at this month's WYSIWIG, I am the only straight one. Will you guys have a Queer Eye for me and buy me a new wardrobe?

Of course, and we'll have Queerty.com sponsor it. They'll also sponsor your coming out party next month, where one of us will use the opportunity to go back into the closet.

But, wow. Three out of four? That's gayer than Details magazine.