The PreCogs Goes To The Oscars

It's time for my First Annual Guaranteed 100% Accurate* Academy Awards Pre-Vision. Remember, these are not predictions. These are facts. I already know who is going to win, because I see the future, remember? I do this as a service to movie fans everywhere, and the gambling community. I seek no monetary benefit for myself, but feel free to take these no-doubt-about-it answers to your local Oscar pool and deliver any chumps you find there to the proverbial cleaners.

Winners only, because if you want to work here, you close:

BEST PICTURE:
The Aviator

BEST DIRECTOR:
Martin Scorsese, The Aviator

Analysis: Consider both of these a lifetime achievement award for Marty. Also a rare instance of a popular, good movie that also happens to be the best of the nominees.

Before we get to the actors, let's quickly review Immutable Law Of The Oscars, No. 1: The most reliable method for winning an Academy Award for Acting is to portray a gimp, a real person, or be British.

BEST ACTOR, LEAD
Jamie Foxx, Ray

Analysis: Four of the five nominees played real people, and Leo played an A-one nut job, but Jamie is our "Shoe-In Of The Week." Oh, by the way, remember "Wanda, the Ugly Girl" from "In Living Color." Same guy.

BEST ACTRESS, LEAD
Hilary Swank, Million Dollar Baby

Analysis: The most improbable two-time Oscar winner ever.

BEST ACTRESS, SUPPORTING
Cate Blanchett, The Aviator

Analysis: Played a famous person and is Australian (close enough).

BEST ACTOR, SUPPORTING
Morgan Freeman, Million Dollar Baby

Analysis: Even a glass eye beats an obscure 1940's senator from Maine.

BEST SCREENPLAY, ADAPTED
Paul Haggis, Million Dollar Baby

BEST SCREENPLAY, ORIGINAL
Charlie Kaufman, Michel Gondry & Pierre Bismuth, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
The Incredibles

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
The Sea Inside

ART DIRECTION
The Aviator

CINEMATOGRAPHY
The Aviator

COSTUME DESIGN
Finding Neverland

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
The Story Of The Weeping Camel

DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
Autism Is A World

FILM EDITING
The Aviator

MAKEUP
The Passion Of The Christ

MUSIC (SCORE)
Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban

MUSIC (SONG)
Believe, The Polar Express

SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)
Guard Dog

SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)
Everything In This Country Must

SOUND EDITING
The Incredibles

SOUND MIXING
Spider-Man 2

VISUAL EFFECTS
Spider-Man 2

*notaguarantee